Chapter 22: Lonely In Your Nightmare.

She only saw the darkness around her, but her soul was in peace. The dark around her was like a personal waiting room for the next step; she didn’t know what direction she was going to take, she just waited, not worried, not scared. Suddenly, a cold hand took her away from her solitude and moved her into a painful light. She felt scared, she felt the pain and she couldn’t breath…she opened her eyes and, like a newborn, her eyes didn’t show anything more than ghostly shapes.

Her lungs hurt when she felt the air in there but for a reason, she couldn’t speak at all. Her silent scream was only noticeable through her eyes. Her heart beat hard, and she felt it in her ears, like deathly drums. Lisa breathed hard, and found herself in a bed, unable to do anything.

“I missed you”

Her heart stopped for a second. Even with all the fussiness and dizziness, she knew that voice. Her senses alerted her but her body wasn’t responding. She couldn’t talk…she couldn’t scream.

“Don’t even try…you came back to life because I wanted to, and I am controlling you like a puppet, darling. You can’t talk…you can't ask for help… you are going to stay there and listen to me, because I have something very important to say…” said the deathly voice of Jake, just a few inches away from her head.

Lisa tried to move, but her body was temporally paralyzed. She tried to adjust her vision until the dark shapes around her took the look of the man who ruined her life. He watched her like she was a newborn puppy, with a smile on his face, enjoying the scene, like a proud director.

“Hello my love, welcome back to hell,” he said and kissed her cheek slowly. He moved in front of her and looked straight into her eyes. She couldn’t hide her terror. Lisa’s throat hurt and felt awfully dry.

“This…” he said showing a little empty bottle to her, “this is an experimental drug, that allowed me to bring you back from your coma. Actually, I forced your conscience to come back, but your body is still asleep. Isn’t it nice what private investigation can do?” he said grinning like a vampire, his blond hair framing his face and making him look like a predator.

“Lisa, Lisa…what am I going to do with you?” he said moving her hair away from her face. Lisa’s eyes were the only means of communication she had, and Jake saw, happily, how they changed from fear to anger.

“You are such a tiger… such a warrior… I am proud of you, you gave me the best hunting of my life, little one,” and then he moved his finger down to her lips, touched the dry skin there and his expression changed drastically to a serious one. “But the game is over. I told you not to push the buttons that much, but did you listen? Oh no! So stubborn…” he said moving his fingers onto her neck and into a grip. Lisa’s eyes grow wider.

“It would be so easy to kill yow now….so helpless,” he murmured to himself looking into the skin of her neck, pressing enough to feel the blood pressure in his own hand, then he released her.

“The game is over and I won. The car "accident" you had wasn’t an accident, it was a plan. Of course I didn’t think the driver was going to die…such little wimps you have in the army anyway. But I know you more than anyone else…I knew you were going to survive this last battle…and you want to know why I won, baby?” he asked, coming closer to her enough for her to smell his essence.

“Because…” he said and licked her cheek, Lisa closed her eyes hard and tried not to show her fear. She wanted to vomit. “Because Lisa…he doesn’t love you…” he said and stood up watching her in the bed.

Lisa opened her eyes and remembered her last conversation with Rick. All the pain came suddenly but se hide it from Jake. She wasn’t going to let him take her pride, too. Jake smirked, knowing better.

“Fighting until the end. I gave him the chance…he couldn’t do it. Maybe you wonder how I found out. Well, your little chalet isn’t the fortress you and your friends thought it would be. I know everything…I listen everything…I see…everything”. Lisa felt her angry tears falling from her face.

“I am going to offer you one last deal: you leaved Rick in one month….or I will kill everyone you love, starting from than unborn bastard of your friend Claudia…” he murmured and grinned like the madman he was. Lisa’s eyes grew wider in fear, looking around for help, for something…anything…anyone.

“Is not going to be that hard…an older woman, her first pregnancy…a mysterious miscarriage is easy. Of course they will not recover from the…emotional pain of loosing their baby. And even with that…if you stay there, I can go next for that little half alien freak…you are what? The godmother? How sweet…” he joked. He was disgusting. Lisa tried with all her mind to move, to shout… to kill him.

“If stares could kill…I will be a corps by now,” he said and laughed cruelly. “The choice is yours Lisa, but don’t think I will not do what I said. You know my promises… I will not have mercy with those little bastards…I wonder if the girl would scream like a pig…” he murmured coming closer to her again. Lisa’s respiration was faster and she was crying, but her eyes were severe at the same time.

“Now…you will go back to sleep, but this is for you, so you remember all of this and don’t think it was a dream,” and he kissed her, biting her lip until she felt the pain and the metallic taste of her own blood. Jake licked her and looked at her, matching her eyes.

“So nice…your blood is sweet. Remember Lisa…one month,” he said and then moved his hand over and took the drug bottle away. Lisa followed the movement with her eyes and after a few seconds, her eyes closed again, sending her to darkness, this time with a terrible message with her.

*************
The next time Lisa awoke she was in panic. Her head hurt so much she thought she was dying all over again. After focusing her eyes, she touched her head… so she actually could move now.

“Hey, hey…wait, easy there Lisa,” said the familiar voice of Rick, holding her.

Lisa tried to focus her eyes and after a while, she saw the perfect baby blue eyes she thought she would never see again. She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but her mouth was too dry.

Rick looked at her and took the glass of water from the table next to her. He held it for her and helped her drink some. The cold liquid moved down her throat like a blessing. She drank it all and then noticed the hurt in her lower lip and touched it.

“I didn’t see that before,” said Rick holding her closer to him and trying to control his emotions, “but you are awake…finally,” he said with a small voice.

“Rick…” murmured Lisa, noticing how his eyes were full of tears.
“I missed you so much..” he said finally letting the tears go and holding her in a hug. He knew she was weak and fragile, but it was too much for him, he need her…he loved her and had been too close to lose her forever.

Lisa tried to hold him back, but she couldn’t in that position. She just patted his arm tenderly and held her own tears back. She bite her lower lip, remembering their last conversation…and later the accident. Her own tears fell freely through her cheeks. She felt so guilty for the death of the driver, another innocent paying her faults, and then she felt the salty taste in her mouth, of the scar Jake left on her lip. When Rick held her even closer, and cried even more, she remembered Jake’s words: “Leave him in a month.” Lisa trembled a little in Rick’s arms.

"How could I do something like that?" She thought, feeling more secure and in love in that moment than ever in her life. But how could she stay? And risk Claudia's, Dana's and everybody else's lives? Especially Rick’s. Jake was spying on them, he would know if she lied, if she hid…nobody in the world would ever be able to save her from this psycho. It was a silly idea to involve so many people, now Jake had the advantage in the game: more people to hurt.

“I love you,” said Rick sweetly over her shoulder. Lisa’s eyes grow wider in surprise. More than his words, it was the tone of his voice. He was absolutely sincere and she noticed it. Lisa looked into his eyes and she saw his pain, his sorrow and his deepest fear. She felt even worse now because she knew she was going to be the reason of more pain in his future. Rick cleaned her tear-laden face, kissing her forehead tenderly. She wished that she could turn back time and refuse to marry him. It would have been so much better for him to have stayed with Minmei instead of her. In that moment, when Lisa saw his real love for her, she cursed her own meaningless life, asking why Jake didn’t kill her back then, when nobody care for her soul.

“I Love you Lisa,” said Rick again, this time looking into her eyes directly. He cleaned her cheek with his thumb. “I love you, I am in love with you. You are everything for me…you heard me?” he said too anxious now.

Lisa moved her head in a yes signal, unable to speak this time because of emotion.

“I've been so blind…all this years fighting against it, feeling scared of what I felt…but this has been the best year of my life Lisa, and it’s all because of you. All those things I said a week ago they were… they were just stupid words, I didn’t mean them…I was scared of what I felt, but when I almost lost you I realized how much I needed you…and that scared me even more! Because you are with me, every morning when I wake up; I can feel your body next to me… Or when we fight and I see the green fire in your eyes, your passion… When we make love and I feel the real you in body and soul… When I suddenly kiss you at the office after a boring meting or when you play with Dana…I can’t live without that, Lisa…You are my every thing. When you came here after surgery and you were between life and death…I told you all this, and I told you that if you wanted to go…you could, but that thought killed me in the inside! I need you here, I am not ready to be without you…Maybe it is because I am 7 years younger, I don’t know…but I need you like the air Lisa Hayes, you hear me?” he said desperately, crying and holding her arms hard, almost shaking her.

Lisa looked at him not scared, but surprised for the speech. It was obvious that he was going through an emotional brake down right now. He hadn’t shaven and looked tired and miserable. His eyes were desperate and somehow, he seemed older.

She moved her own hand and touched his cheek. Rick took her hand and kissed it passionately, without breaking eye contact with her. He was scared that if he didn’t keep an eye on her, she would disappear, like the morning fog.

“Rick…listen…” she said lowly and cleared her voice a little. “I don’t know what to say, except that I love you, more than anything in the world,” she said, unable to hold his gaze, looking down and feeling too tired suddenly.

He hugged her, realizing that she was just waking up from a very serious surgery. She stayed in coma for some days and then she woke up suddenly. She simply fell asleep again then for one more day. Rick stood there, next to her almost all the time, except when the doctors came to check on her or he needed to go to eat or to the bathroom. Everyone tried to send him home, but he refused firmly, arguing that was his place, next to his wife.

“I am sorry Lisa…you are tired, damn…sorry” he said a little ashamed, he helped her to lay back on the bed and she smiled weakly, thanking him. Rick looked at her with tender eyes, looking a lot like a lost child who finally found his home.

“I’d kiss you, but I haven't cleaned my teeth in... how many days?” she joked a little. Rick smiled back, feeling relived for a second.

“Seven days” he murmured, feeling the weight of the time on his voice.
“You need to rest Rick,” she said taking his hand in hers. He nodded.
“Maybe now that you are awake and I told you how I feel,” he said with a warmer smile.
“I know how I feel for you. I love you Rick,” she answered, kissing his hand now.
“And I love you Lisa. I honestly think I love you since the first day I saw you in that screen in the veritech and I called you old lady and sourpuss,” he said touching her hair tenderly and smiling sadly, remembering that probably he had hurt her since day one.

She controlled herself not to cry again. She didn’t want to leave him, but the price was too high for the luxury of being happy.

“Go home Rick, the old lady commands!” She said looking ready to sleep again.
“Roger that,” he answered, kissing her temple. “I will return after I take a shower and tell everyone that you are awake, all right?”
“Ok,” she said sleepy, already closing her eyes.

Rick looked at her until she felt asleep deeply in her hospital bed. He walked to the door and before leaving the room, he looked at his wife and thanked God for the miracle of her, in his life.

*****************

Lisa woke up slowly and the first things she noticed were all the people around her. The first one she saw was the smiling face of Claudia Grant, on her right side, holding her hand. Behind her was Roy, smirking and with a proud look, ready to tease her. Next to him was Sammy, like always the drama queen, holding her tears. Vanessa and Kim looked at her with wide eyes when she opened her eyes. In the other side was Miriya, looking worried for her, but calmed and next to her was Max, holding Dana, smiling tenderly.

“You snored!” joked Roy and Lisa raised an eyebrow, smirking back.
“So what? You too…I almost died! What is your excuse?” she said trying to sit up a little. Rick quickly moved and put a pillow behind her head.
“Where were you?” she asked noticing his sudden entrance.
“Around here,” he answered smiling sweetly. He looked rested and cleaned. His beard was shaven and he had his carefree way again. Lisa was happy about that.
“I thought you were going to die,” said Miriya suddenly. Her face was serious and everybody looked at her in awe and tense silence. She stared at Lisa, almost angry. Lisa caught the message and hold her hand with hers.

“I am sorry Mir. I didn’t mean to scare you,” said Lisa sincerely. Miriya held her tears and stood up very firm, sniffing a little. Max put his arm on Miriya’s back, comforting her when Miriya tried not to show her emotions. She just saluted her, in a very formal way, one tear running on her cheek. Lisa saluted her back.

Everybody was emotional for a moment until Dana, who was looking at everybody, started crying. Max held her close and the tension was over when Dana wanted to hug Lisa. She took the baby in her arms and she stopped crying. The softness of the baby and her powder smell relaxed Lisa and since she woke up, she was glad to have everybody around her.

“There’s someone here who wants to see you Lisa,” said Claudia, in conspiracy with Rick who smiled back. Lisa looked around and before she could ask who, the Trio moved away a little and she saw the familiar tall form of one of the most important man in her life. Holding his hat in his hands and with a worried look, Henry Gloval stood at the foot of her bed, smiling softly at her.

“Admiral…” said Lisa impressed and sit up quickly but she felt dizzy for the sudden move and had to lay back again. Gloval moved next to her, where Claudia had been before.

“Don’t move Captain Hayes…it’s all right,” he said with a tender voice. Lisa looked at him and smiled back, a little embarrassed.

“I came here to check on you. I couldn’t leave my best Captain alone in such a difficult time, could I?” asked the Admiral watching carefully the expression of the woman in the bed, holding a baby. He really hoped that he was witnessing that image for a different reason, that he had to come to England to congratulates her and Rick for their baby. But it wasn’t like that. When Henry Gloval received the news about the critical condition of her first officer and almost her own daughter, he made the necessary arrangements so he could take a week off to see her. His sad visit was almost over, but he silently thanked the heavens for giving him the chance to see her awake and all right, before he went home.

“It’s so good to see you Admiral,” said Lisa holding her tears. Rick took Dana away from Lisa so she could take Gloval’s hand in her. Gloval breathed deeply and fought the urge to hold and protect her like the child he would always think she was.

“I say the same Lisa…and I am glad that you are joking already,” he said looking at Roy from the corner of his eye. The blond mand smiled like a child who was caught in a prank.

Lisa turned a little red and everybody laughed a little. Dana was fighting to release herself from Rick and hug Lisa again.

“I am so glad to see that you are fine…that you are safe” said Gloval in a paternal and concerned tone of voice. Lisa couldn’t help but to look down, keeping her dark secret inside. Gloval knew her better than anyone and she felt that if he saw her eyes, he would know. She composed herself almost immediately and looked at him with her most professional look.

“I am sir, please don’t worry. Every thing here will be all right,” she forced herself to speak. Gloval felt that something was wrong but remained in silence.

“You are being taken care of by all this family you have here, of course you will be all right,” he answered while the Trio stood firm and ready to receive any order from their superior.

“This is my family,” murmured Lisa sadly, and then Rick touched her hair a little.
“With an annoying brother included,” joked Claudia, bothering Roy.
“Hey! I am not annoying!” he complained.
“Yes you are” said Lisa from her bed, smiling a little more.

All of them stood there talking for a long time. The Trio sat around Admiral Gloval and filled him with all sort of details about their time in England. Gloval was shocked listening to so much information at the same time and watched from one side to the other. Lisa ate a little and after the doctor checked on her and said that everything was fine. Gloval stood up and said his goodbyes, because his transportation was leaving soon. He hugged Lisa for a long time before Kim touched his arm in signal that he was late. Lisa saluted him from her bed and both, Gloval and Kim, who was driving him, saluted her back.

After the emotional episode and after everyone had left, Lisa stood up with Rick's help, walked to the bathroom and cleaned her teeth. When she was done, Rick took her in his arms and carried her back to her bed.

“Thanks” she said felling a little silly.
“Your welcome” said Rick sitting next to her. The only one authorized to stay there was him, her husband.
“Why don’t you go and sleep at home? You really need to rest,” said Lisa relaxing in her bed.
“Nah, I am fine…is not the first time I do something like this,” he said playing with his hands like a little boy.
Lisa raised an eyebrow and tried to think when he had possibly being in a situation like that. It’s couldn’t be for Ben, he died in combat. Maybe Minmei? She thought, but then remembered that the music star was never injured that badly.
“For my mom” he answered, her unspoken question, with sad eyes.

Lisa sat quietly and let him talk.

“I was very little, most people think I don’t remember but I do. My mother died when I was very little, but I remember staying next to her for a long, long time. My father took me away but I cried until he took me back, next to her side. I don’t know how much time I was there, but it was a lot,” he said sadly, remembering.
“You never talked about your mother before,” said Lisa between curious and sad for him.
“I don’t have almost any memory of her. It was always my father and me. But I do remember some little details…” he said, thinking hard and keeping quiet a little, “…I have her eyes, everybody says that and… I remember or…I remember the feeling when she hugged me, it was soft. But I don’t remember her face…”

Lisa touched his cheek softly, bringing him back for his past. He smiled against her hand.
“I am fine, really. Don’t send me away…not tonight,” he murmured holding her hand against his face. Lisa looked at him and nodded a yes. He smiled and put her hand down.
“What was your mother’s name?” she asked softly, wanting to know more about her.
“Sarah…” he said looking at her in the eyes “Sarah Vivian Mayer-Hunter” he repeated by memory, smiling proudly. Lisa laughed a little.
“You don’t remember anything about how she looked?” she asked. Rick thought hard.
“I remember what my father told me; she was very pale, with blond hair and blue eyes. She wasn’t a beauty, but my father always told me that she was the nicest person he ever met. I remember her laughing a lot all the time and I think she was a little chubby, because I do remember when she hugged me I felt like a pillow and it was nice,” he said smiling and glad to remember some forgotten feelings, Lisa laughed.
“How about yours?” asked Rick curiously. The night was there and the wind was blowing outside. Lisa sighed.
“Elizabeth Hayes, like me…but her maiden name was Lancaster. My mother was really special. I always watched her and she was like a queen. She was sweet, but sad…She was thin, physically she was like me, but with dark blue eyes. I always liked her eyes…” said Lisa remembering. “I think she was sad, because my father was never around. But we got along very well. She played the piano, she taught me…I remember that she sang too. She was very artistic. I was older when she died, so I have a lot of memories of her. I liked how she smelled…”

Rick smiled softly “You smell pretty nice too,” he said to her, touching her nose.
“Not now!” she rolled her eyes and Rick laughed hard for the first time in a long, long time.
“You always smelled good, like a fresh morning in the country,” he said coming closer to her and this time touching his nose with hers.

Lisa stood there, feeling his breathing and closing her eyes. She didn’t want to leave him, she didn’t want to lose what she fought so hard for. Her lips trembled a little, not knowing what to do, fighting in the inside against the urge of melting in his arms.

Rick kissed her softly, touching her lips with his tenderly, taking away all the pain. He tasted her slowly, taking the time, memorizing everything in a long kiss full with love. He kissed her lower lip softly, taking away any trace that wasn’t his. His kiss was devoted to her, and only her. When they ended the sweet kiss, Rick smiled and touched her nose with his.

Lisa knew that moment that she had to leave him now, or he was going to die…